i'm anticipating expressions of anger
regression of feelings long stored away
beneath the galley, or perhaps i put them below the bowsprit
tangled below the bowlin'
amidst the turbulent water crashing up onto the deck

stress ebbing and flowing encompassed by the chaos of life
trying to calm the waters, as i have always done
the waters with constant resistance and pressure
about to burst, to explode to over flow

i am anticipating and expression of loss
or at least a release of grief
held captive in the bottles below decks
the fo'c'sle full of heat emanating from the engine
energy and feelings writing and swarming

perhaps the bottles have caused the ballast to be askew
forcing the ship to list
the bottles need to be thrown overboard
popping bottle caps off allowing
ESCAPE...RELEASE...RELIEF...AND FEELINGS

i want to feel again
feel when something when it happens
not when everything has all calmed down...